I’m a Little Less Fat

I report back to you a somewhat thinner man. I’m not skinny like my friend Jim the “recreational marathoner“, but then again everyone hates Jim anyway. Well I do at least.

He’s so freaking smug about everything. It’s always,…

“Hey Dave, did I tell you I jog to work even though I live in a different county than my office?”

or

“Hey Dave, I sold my boat and now I just swim around the lake with a fishing rod in my mouth when I want to troll“.

The point of course, is that sometimes you can be TOO fit. I’m not there yet, but I must remain vigilant against it. I digress however.

I was 250 when last we spoke, and the fat-o-meter tells me I am now down to 239. While 11 pounds is nothing to sneeze at I suppose, it seems impossible to me that I’m not significantly lighter. While I generally believe there is a direct correlation between suffering and weight loss, that does NOT seem to apply to my recent efforts. If it did, I’d weight about 190 right now because Lord how I have suffered.

Just last night, I limited myself to three pieces of pizza as opposed to my usual four. The suffering of that act alone should account for at least two pounds. What made that particular sacrafice even worse, was that my 7-year old son ate the piece in question….with obvious smugness and satisfaction I might add.

Laugh it up punk, as one day your metabolism will dissapear  like a donut at a Weight Watcher’s convention. I know this because you are a tiny little carbon copy of me, and once upon a time I too could eat with reckless abandon.

In addition to the aforementioned food sacrifices, I find myself hiking the hill behind my house with alarming frequency. I’ve only missed two nights in the last several weeks, and I’ve actually increased the number of trips up and down the hill from 3 to 7.

While the following may appear to be a rhino charging up Kilimanjaro, I assure you that it is in fact me. Also note all of the school children in the background that I’m leaving in my DUST!

I know what you’re thinking, “That’s not much of a hill“. I say to you…don’t judge me or I will consume you Jabba The Hut style.

The hill is FAR steeper than the photo would lead one to believe. The good news is that I usually have company from throughout the neighborhood. The little old lady with the bad leg that passes me most nights is an ANIMAL I tell you. Don’t even get me started on the gaggle of soccer moms that race up and down this great mountain with reckless abandon.

I could maintain the same pace as them if I so chose. It’s not who makes it to the top fastest though, but rather who doesn’t have a heart attack in the process. I’m proud to say that right now I’m tied with the little old lady and the soccer moms in that latter category.

If you’ll recall from my previous post, my stated goal is 215 pounds by October 1. I am a product of the Elmore County school system admittedly, but I believe that’s a total of 35 pounds. I’m going to lose the BSU graduates in this next part, but if I subtract the 11 pounds from the stated goal of 35, that leaves me with 24 to go. 

On a final note, I told you I was going to be posting “weekly” updates in my effort to get ready physically for elk season. I’ve clearly failed in that regard. In fact, Corey (owner of this web-site) was reminding me of this fact just today. There are two things that are relevant about this issue.

First, nobody is currently paying me for my keen observations and as such you people are just lucky I show up at all.  Secondly, I have a picture of Corey from when we were in college where he has a full-on “mullet” and I WILL post it.

That is all for now. I will post again next week when hopefully I will have lost another 5 pounds or so…or maybe I won’t and you’ll  just see a photo of Corey’s flowing mane of supreme mulletness where an article should be.

Fat guy over and out.